Two years today

I decided that today I would watch every video and news story done on Jorden. From the very beginning I knew it was best if I didn’t as a way to protect myself mentally. I have also chose to video myself as I see everything for the first time in hopes that if law enforcement ever seen it they could feel my pain and speak up and do the right thing and prevent another mother and family from going through this. Even today I have done nothing to these cops here but yet they chose to harass me and even during the harassment not one of them still two years later has not given condolences and I find that sad and tells me how they were raised with no respect for another human being. Damn I’m so upset to my stomach just thinking about what lies ahead for me today and it also has me terrified. I was told that Rosemary Lacey actually ran over my daughters head now can you imagine being my daughter and having a car run over your head and then they leave her laying in the road for 45 minutes and they are only a block away from Mount Graham Hospital!!! My heart is racing right now just thinking about it and I can only hope I can come thru what I’m going to be watching I have been protecting myself mentally and unable to grieve because of fear and fear of never being able to get out of bed and shutting down mentally but I’m tired of hearing others tell me when I’m the only one that truly knew my daughter so it’s up to me to watch it and stop others from speculating.. I’m not going to ask anyone to pray for me cause my views on God are lacking thanks to the so called Christians in this world and on a God that allows so much pain to one person with no mercy at all and growing up you here in church what a loving God we have well for my Gods love was to much like my mothers, painful and sadness was all myself and my sisters felt wishing we had a mother that was loving and kind and honestly she was no better at being a grandparent cause our poor offspring has been abandoned and treated like garbage and asking questions as to why she never loved them and them having a look wondering what they ever did to deserve Mary and for me I always waited for God to save me from my childhood as I was a child I needed this all powerful God to step in and rescue us from the abuse as we were powerless over her. I truly hope that if anything from my blogs is that people think before they speak or raise their hand against another. I will or my family will upload the video to the website later today much peace and love from me to you and just in case today doesn’t go well I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the support and love I have received from so many. Just wish we could have met under different circumstances 💜