Before Jorden was murdered I use to love to ride on the back of the Harley and hold onto my gorgeous husband Marty we would go on the Poker Runs which were always a good time but my ultimate was the 2019 Arizona Bike Week it was awesome and to see Godsmack in Concert again but this time with Marty. The day we left Phoenix after bike week to head home go figure I would catch the corner of the bed in our hotel room breaking my little toe and God it hurt so bad, so bad I had to ride home with no shoe or sock and bracing for any and all bumps in the road. So many memories. Since Jordens murder I can’t ride I wish I knew why I just can’t I know it’s been hard for Marty to understand but how could he when I don’t either. I have tried short rides in town and even those are nothing enjoyable for me. My sister Crystal and her boyfriend Alton wanted to go ride this last Saturday as Alton has a Harley as well. I fought myself all morning trying to come up with an excuse not to go but couldn’t come up with not even one and I knew it meant a lot to Marty and my sister Crystal for me to go so I sucked it up and went and all the while trying to stay out of my head and trying not to look at the asphalt cause on the back of the bike its so close and all I can think about is my poor baby being tossed out onto it and left to lay alone for 45 minutes it kills me and makes me wish it had been me not her . So the entire ride the only time my mind was not on the torture my baby suffered is when traveling approximately 70 mph out of no where I am smacked right in the forehead by a rock and let me tell you it hurt and once I shook it off it brought me back to Jorden and thinking how I was complaining about the pain when it could never compare to what my daughter suffered from the hands of others I mean beat so bad her brain stem was smashed so think about it a rock in my face nothing compared to what she suffered and the anger I feel towards the cowards that beat her and tossed her out like garbage and then lets not forget about being sexually assualted twice I can only hope one day soon they feel the exact pain times a 100 that they inflicted on my baby girl and they feel it over and over for all eternity.