[Extra Quality] El Amor Es Extasis Bliss 1997
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Sir, accidentally hearing the complaints of your too amorous soul, and I know not by what power, feeling your torments stirring up a pitty and curiosity together in my breast, I have thus rudely adventured to approach you, and also out of a desire I have, prompted by a more than ordinary violence, to enter a discourse with you, and if it might be to shew you the precipices of this Tyrannous love by too many experimented Tryals. I have before now observed your melancholy resort into these shades, my habitation is nigh and unknown, where I have a freedome to study at large Dictates [Page 3] of reason against such youthful excurrances. Pardon Sir this rude addresse, and exact what punishment you please, after having given me the favour I desire. Argelois at his first speaking had lifted up his eyes, obscur'd as they were with the clouds of sadness to behold him, who thus had disturb'd his melancholy humour, and they were incountred with a gravity that allayed the cholor that began to arise through this disturbance, but being suppressed through this grave object, he arose, and saluting him, thus expressed himself. "Though it be the greatest of disturbances, to be interrupted in these pleasing cogitations, and nothing (hardly) lesse pardonable, with a Lover, yet the gravity which accompanies you, and some intereor motion which moves me, by I know not what power, I am well satisfied with this your interruption, and desire to know that laxating drogue which you seem to promise. The stranger invited by Argelois seated himself by him on that pleasant bank, exercising his eyes in beholding the incomparable features, and most attracting graces, which accompanied this Heroe, and at last being not a little astonished that such a brave aspect should complain, who deserved justly the title of incomparable;"I cannot but wonder (said he) that nature having dealt so favourable with you; Love and fortune should so much oppose you, for nature hath made you rather to be sued to by the fairest female, than to sue to any whatsoever, and given those graces which others want, but love it seems crossing her intentions, makes you leave that which you have to seek beauty where it is not to be found but in your self, and fortune being of the conspiracy strives to make you equally miserable, by hiding from you the knowledge of your extraction and birth, this I understand by your complaints, which though I may not help altogether, yet I may give some remedy for those plagues of love: I will shew you my experiences, as marks to shun his deceits, and shew you how my utter ruine came from thence, which makes me have a just cause to complaine against sin, and forwarn others that they may not precipitate themselves blinded with his deceits. It may be (sayes Argelois) that the fault lay in your self, not in Love, and and through your own fault lost that which Love had ordained for you, and so were the cause of your own misery, which you impute to Love. I know not i [...] I have err'd (replyed the stranger) but if I have, it was because I was blinded, for I account it altogether impossible for any to be deeply engaged in that folly (for so I must term it) and not to degress the precepts of wisdome. I have had my share in it, which made me (hearing your complaints) so far to pity your estate, as to present my self before you to acquaint you with the experience I have had of him, and though Love deal not with all men alike, yet it is seen for a time he undoeth most. When in my youth I felt those heart tormenting flames, though I were sensible of the paine, yet I esteemed it as a pleasure, and rejoyced in my own discontent, I accounted it the happiest condition, and pleased my self with my own phancy, but now the experience of years, with the dictates of Reason, hath pulled away the vizor from the face of Love, and now I see it nothing but a sense-pleasing phancy which banisheth reason from its Residence, making a man lose that which makes him almost equal with the gods, and submit to a passion altogether servil. Argelois a little smiling, said, Surely love in an extraordinary manner hath crossed you, that you are so much his adversary, I will not go about to defend him, (though it be a most noble passion, at least I think so) because I know not, but hereafter I may have cause enough to complain and speak against him, and for that it is requisite that I cede to your more tryed experiences, which makes me desirous to know the miseries love hath caused you, and the good and bad fortune of your Life, and if my poor condition may any [Page 4] wayes be able to stand you in stead, you may assure your self of my service. I thank you for your generosity (replied the Love-opposing stranger) my condition is too base for the help of so noble a hand, I shall most willingly relate the full story of my life, although I know you not, but believe so generous a soul cannot harbour my destruction; yet the apparent danger and hazard of my life in discovering my self might be a sufficient excuse, had I not a more inward perswasion of your noble and generous disposition. and an extraordinary impulse upon me, to make known my various fortunes. I have no other end that pricks me to this relation, by which I lay my self open to dangers, but that pity which I mention, that impulse I speak of, for I was not able longer to hear your complaints, and not render to the assistence (and if possible to snatch you from a precipice, I see you even falling into) all my Humanity, Philosophy and experience. Let it not seem strange, that being thus a stranger, I should thus freely disclose my self; if I have any knowledge left in phisnomy, I read in your face a generous and heroick soul, which will not give the weaknesse of a kind heart an ungentle acceptance, and consture this freedom in the worst sense. I cannot but believe a good Fate in this accidental meeting, therefore I am so free and plain. Argelois much pleased with the strangers freedom, and having a great desire to hear his fortunes, and who he was, told him the content he should receive by his relation, and that he might not be interrupted through fear, protested that whatever he related to him, he might assure himself should never prejudice him, or any way redound to his hurt. The stranger giving him thanks for his verbal assurance, and well satisfied in his behaviour and gentleness, after a little pause to collect things in some method, seeing him attend the motion of his tongue, he began thus.
For my part that trouble which continually assaulted my soul through those considerations in three dayes space had cast me into a violenr feaver, and my wounds bleeding afresh so debilitated me, that they thought I could never sustain the loss of so much blood, and the Surgions almost despaired of my ever recovering. Clotuthe by the special command of Lilibilis visited me every day, and with her Amenia, we could not entertain one another, because the Surgions thought it might conduce to my disrepose, but with a dying eye I gave Amenia many sad glances, which testified the anxiety of my soul, I found a great desire in my self to die, so I might but have the happiness (as I accounted it) to have assured Amenia that I died hers. So foolishly vain are the thoughts of those involved in the snares of love, to account it the chiefest bliss, and greatest happiness, next to the enjoyment of the beloved object than can betide them, to assure those they love they die for their sakes, and precipitateing themselves in an amorous humour, find death sweet in such assurances, and receiving its cold kisses with ardent desires, [Page 48] testifie a content not to be measured in the expiration, when such souls whom they expire for account it an idle humour, or believing when they saw they could not live, thought to oblidge them, by telling them they dyed theirs.
I remained in this condition full of quiet, without any occurrents worth the rehersall till the last year o [...] the reign of Augustus, when being in the court of King [...]ar [...]demus of [...]licia the extraordinary beauty and pregnant wit [...] of Agavv [...], neer to the King, drew me once more into the inextricable troubles of Love, after so many yeares repose, and when I thought my self incapeable o [...] those fires, having finished twelve whole lustres of my age, Surely the essence of my soul was compos'd of Love, for I beleeve, none was so amorous as my self, nor none so much crost in their Loves, or else all the amatorious stars assembling at my birth pour'd down their influences on my soul as so many Amotoriums. My soul of the nature of tow, being exposed against the adusting beams of the sun of beauty, immediatly carched fire, and contrary to my expectations (haveing thought the winter of age had frozen up all my veneral desirs) I found the calid beams, of Agavv's countinance to resolve all my icie humours, and with a repullulation of desires, caused a new Spring of affection. Being after much resort to that fire throughly scorched, and charm'd by the Philtre of her caring & courtious behaviour, and my limbs made sprightfull with new ardences, I sought by all meanes I could to make my self gracious in her sight, being at that time highly favoured by Tarcondemus, and of much esteeme in his court I pursued this sute almost three years till I had gain'd Tarcondemus to promise her to me; and Agavve seeming to be [...]led by the King consented, but unwilling; fortune once more befooleing me, frustrated all my hopes most enviously.
But whilst my resurging flames were suffocated with a continual depression, they were as much sufflated by a continual presence, which gave me an intollerable inustion, & made me do things almost enough to have discovered my passion, had they not been so extreamly blinded by my habit. The continuall intuition of that deity gave innumerable incitements, and exuscitated such scorching and lively flames, that after a while it was imposible for me to exhibit the coldnesse and indifferency I did at first, and not to excurr allmost into extravagancies in the reception of those incomparable pleasures Atalanta gave. But seeing I could not acknowledg them, nor give my passion any vent by my mouth, I was fain to do it by my eyes and actions, and thereby silently to expresse that which I dar'd not to do with my tongue, oftentimes when we were alone, I should behold her with so great intentivenesse, and so avidiously devoure those rarities, till I had quite lost my selfe in those Labyrinths of perfections, & running from the contemplation of her auborne haire, to the intuition of her faire forehead, and from that to the perfect rainbowes of her face, under which two suns exhibited such splendor that I was not able to behold them long without occecaton, then intuiting [Page 136] her nose which was raised to a perfect proportion, thence her mouth which was lovely and little, whose corals with a magnetick virtue us'd long to detaine my eyes, but at last gave leave to behold her dimpled chinn, and faire basis of those matchlesse mirrors. Then ascending back againe never wearie of those pleasing contemplations, nor findeing any way out of those intricacies, till the blushes of her cheeks shewed me the way forth, and as it were brought me to my selfe againe; which sometimes was accompanied with so many ingeminated suspirations, that they seem'd Querimonies for my losse, and sometimes it was accompanied with such extravagances both of words and gestures, that I have wondered that she had not perspicuously seen my passion which sometimes so shamed me, that I had little power left me to make excuses. This growing frequent, she thought it had been some indisposition, and would have sought for to have acquired something for my health had I not over-perswaded her to the contrary. I receiv'd a world of other felicities which gave daily and more strong inflammations to my passion, and desires of intire possession of what I saw, sometimes pressing those delicate and faire hands, and interweaving those slender and ivory fingers with mine I should carry them with such passion to my lips, where I should give them thousands of ardent kisses, and almost inflame those lilyes with the continuall pressure of my burning lips. Which to require reciprocally she would returne some on my fore-head, cheeks and lips, which though I received with excesse of pleasure and unuterable, yet was it much mitigated by the thoughts of the injurie I did her modesty; for I could not but blame my self that I did so egregiously abuse one so courteous and affable, but love answered all scrupl [...]s, and forced me greedily to desire those sweets. At other times when my officiousnesse hath made me helpe to pinne on those veiles that obscured that snow-surpassing whitnesse, and religeously hid those rarities from our profane eyes, I should (transported at those sweetly riseing tumours) basiate those faire orbes whose tender touches would have inflamed a soul composed all of water, judge you to what an extasis these enjoyments drove me. Oftentimes also being in her chamber when she hath beraken her selfe to repose, after her devestment, I have beheld her only in her smock, which was too fine to hide any of those attracting beauties from the eye of a Lover, but the rare simmety of that composure with all its beauties enough to have enamour'd the whole world, was perspicable through that carbaseous tegment. Oh? how I was faine to contract all the powers of my soul to retard the present motions of my desires and passions at such a sight. By these continuall and forcible exsuscitations of my flames you may judge with that difficulty I supprest them. And although I did digresse sometimes by the too violent pressure of my passion, my habit gave me security and freedome in those digressions, and Atalanta took them all as tokens of my entire Love and affection. 2b1af7f3a8
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